You know what they say about never judging a book by its cover? Yet all of us tend to do the same thing at some point of time or the other. We all stand accused of being judgmental towards people. If anyone says that, “I have never judged anyone”, then that person is clearly lying. Judging someone or having an opinion about someone is a normal human tendency.
The other day I was reading some self-help articles about how to be confident and how to get rid of the fear of being judged. Each article mentioned that you must ignore all those people who judge you. Surround yourselves with positive and supportive people and be your own true self. What if…?
What if the person who is being judgmental is none other than you yourself? What if you are the one who is doing all the judging? What if YOU are judging YOURSELF?
Shocked right? It is one thing to critically analyse yourself sometimes so that your head firmly remains on your shoulder. But doing so on a regular basis is unhealthy.
Admit it guys! Sometimes we all are overtly critical about ourselves.
During a group discussion you may come up with a great point but you don’t speak up. Why? Because YOU feel that the point is stupid or it is irrelevant. You may have a great idea but you don’t share it. Why? Because YOU think people will laugh at you. You write a great article or maybe a poem but you don’t show it to anyone because YOU feel that it is not good enough. Or maybe you are a talented artist but no one knows about it as YOU are hiding your talent in your bathroom cupboard.
Chill darling! Relax ! Breathe! Give yourself a break! You are NOT as stupid as YOU think. Go out there and speak up. Let people know about ideas. What is the worst ting that will happen? People will laugh at you. Right? Well let them. They are ones who are showing their ugly yellow teeth. Or maybe they will judge you? Let them. They are going to judge you, no matter what. If you go out there and voice your opinions then they are going to judge you for having an opinion. And if you keep quiet then they will judge you for your lack of opinion. If the end result is going to be getting judged then it is better to get judged for having something rather than for the lack of it.
Many a times you feel that people don’t appreciate you enough or you feel suppressed. In most of these situations you end up blaming someone else for something that is your fault. If you examine the thoughts that are going through your head during such situations (NO! Don’t say anything. Do you want to make a fool of yourself? People will laugh at you. This is so stupid), then you will realize that YOU are holding yourself and no one else. People do not have time to see your hidden talent and then bring you out of your closet. They are fighting their own battles. If you don’t do it yourself then no one will do it for you.
Critical stares and judgmental comments do not hurt so much when they come from a third-party. But when your own critical self secretly agrees to those comments and stares then they become hurtful.
Relax! Breathe! Do not compare yourself with any one. You are unique in your own way, just like everyone else. Do not judge yourself too harshly. Just be your own unique self. Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people will not help if your own thoughts are negative. External positivity is of no use if there is negativity inside you. So cleanse your mind and instead of asking yourself, ‘Am I good enough?’ , rearrange the words to,’I am good enough!’